Stuff you'll never see on Mobile Suit Gundam
by DarkGundam
Summary: Just when you thought you had seen all things Gundam. Ha, these stories are guarenteed to blow your mind and make you bust a gut. From the twisted mind of the DarkGundam..


Disclaimer: I do not, read me, Do Not own MSG or any characters from this show. I'm only making them into the insane versions I have rolling around in my head. Hey, gimme a break. I need something to do while sitting around and evolving into a higher form of evil. Sheesh. I also don't own any brand names I might use on a whim.  
  
This little collection of weirdly chaotic stories will be mostly my own ideas, brainstormed while watching waaaaay too much Gundam at close to 3 a.m. in the morning. Some of the latter stories will be joint efforts between myself and my cohort/menace to society, SephirothsAngel. Don't expect to come away from reading these tales of mania without looking at MSG a little differently. You've been warned.  
  
And away we goooo..  
  
It's in the middle of the One Year War. A lone building exists between nowhere and somewhere. This building, with its well-known red and white sign, would only expect the occasional weary traveler in the odd hours of the night to pay a visit. Yes, this popular, and very recognizable little building is none other than Kentucky Fried Chicken, one of many on the West Coast. The sun had long since disappeared into the sky, and night taken its place. It was about 12:56 a.m. There were now only the late-night shift employees on the job when suddenly the phone rang.  
  
Phone: Rrrinnnngggggg.  
  
Random worker dude (we'll call him Dave) picks up the phone.  
  
Dave: Hi, uh, KFC, can I help you?  
  
????: Do you take phone orders?  
  
Dave: er.not usually, but I guess we could. Whaddya want?  
  
????: Very well. I'd like to order a 20-piece bucket to go.  
  
*Dave grabs pen and writes down the order on scrap paper*: 20-piece bucket, ok. Do you want white or dark meat in that?  
  
????: Mix and match, I don't care.  
  
Dave: Ok. Any sides with that?  
  
????: Wait a minute. *Talking to someone*. What kind of sides do you guys want with that?  
  
Dave hears several other voices in the background, then the mystery guy starts talking again.  
  
????: They're requesting 2 orders of mac and cheese, make them large size, 3 sides of potato wedges, also large, and 12 biscuits with butter. Did you get all of that?  
  
Dave: Yes, sir. Man, sounds like you got a small army to feed over there!  
  
????: I guess you could say that.  
  
Dave: What kinda drink with that?  
  
????: We want 2 Dr. Peppers, 1 Pepsi, and 1 Mountain Dew.  
  
Dave: That all?  
  
????: That's pretty much it.  
  
Dave: Alrighty. Oh, can you give me your name for when you pick up your order?  
  
????: Why sure. It's.. *bzzzzggggggtttttttt*..  
  
Dave: I'm sorry, man, but I didn't get that last part. You're breaking up.  
  
????: *click*..*click*...excuse me. Talking on a wireless while I'm traveling just doesn't hold up sometimes. Anyway, I am just a few minutes down the road and will be there soon. Just wait at the window. I'm kind of hard to miss. See you then.  
  
Dave: ..ok..I'll have the total wrung up when you get here. Bye.  
  
????: Goodbye.  
  
*Both hang up*. Dave hands the paper scrap with the scribbles to his work mate, Cindy, to take to the kitchen.  
  
Cindy: Wait a sec. Who's this for?  
  
Dave: The guy didn't have a chance to say. His cell phone got all staticky when he got to that part. Doesn't matter anyway, he said he'd be here in few minutes.  
  
Cindy: Okay. But I hope we don't get a mix up this way.  
  
The kitchen staff got the order done in close to record time. Now all they had to do was wait. and wait..and wait.  
  
Cindy *about to fall asleep on the counter top* : Is this guy playing a gag on us or what?  
  
Dave: *yawns* He said he would be here in a few minutes. We'll just have to wait. Otherwise, I'll just eat this stuff myself.  
  
Some other worker: Did the floor just shake?  
  
Dave: Just your imagination, man.  
  
Some other worker: Uh, ok. I guess.  
  
Few minutes later...  
  
Dave's head starts lolling over his shoulder, tongue hanging out, and drooling on his shoulder. Then it happens..  
  
BOOOMMM!!!!!!!!  
  
Dave falls on the floor makes a scramble for the nearest table to hide under. Everyone else just goes bananas trying to find out what the sound was.  
  
Cindy: Oh my gosh!!!! It's an earthquake!!!!! I don't wanna die!!!!!  
  
Dave: I want my mommy!!!!!  
  
Some other worker: I never gotta chance to see a Linkin Park concert!!!! Aaaahhhhhhh  
  
Everyone is running around screaming and jumping like maniacs. Then the noise stops. Really, it just stopped.  
  
Everybody *takes a breath*: Pheww...  
  
Dave: Everybody ok?  
  
Workers: We're fine.  
  
Cindy staggers over to the window to see if the ground opened up. Nothing unusual anywhere. Just dim, dark outlines of trees. Some street signs. Telephone poles. A 60-foot, ferocious looking mobile suit standing at the window -  
  
Cindy: EEEEEEKK!!!!!  
  
Dave: WHAT????!!!!!!  
  
Cindy: THAT!!!!!!*points at the delivery window in hysterics*  
  
Dave *walks over to see*: Whoa!! Everyone get down!!!! We're gonna get blown to smithereens!!!!!  
  
The manager - hey, where was he when everyone was screaming?- comes out of the back room: What's all this noise out here!!???  
  
Dave: Th-there's one of those mobile suits outside!! A big, ugly red Zaku!! What did we do to deserve this?!  
  
Manager: Oh no! It's Char!! G-go try to reason with him!! Maybe he'll go away!  
  
Dave sums up his courage, but chickens out again. Cindy gives him a shove and he goes to the window shakily. He takes a deep breath and out comes the only thing he can think to say at this moment of impending doom.  
  
Dave *pokes his head out the window, looking up the monster. Oh, boy*: Ahem.c-can I h-help you?  
  
The machine kneels down on one knee and flashes its mono-eye at the helpless teen who's beginning to think of what it feels like to be crushed like an ant. Dave holds his breath. He waits for it.  
  
A voice comes out of the Zaku's loudspeaker: Hi, I'm here to pick up a phone order from about ten minutes ago.  
  
Dave: Wha - wazzat you?!!  
  
Char: Yes, that was me. Sorry to give you such a scare.  
  
Dave: Ah, no problem, my man. Hey guys, bring that bag over here!  
  
Cindy walks over and hands him the bag, the really BIG bag. She notices two more regular Zakus and a Rick-Dom standing just behind the Red Comet.  
  
Dave: Here you go. That'll be $18.87, please.  
  
The Zaku moves its hand down.  
  
Char: Set it on the hand.  
  
Dave does just that. The Red Comet's chest hatch opens up. Char steps out momentarily to throw down a wad of moolah wrapped with a rubber band.  
  
Char, in all his politeness, thanks the "diligent workers" for not calling the cops because of his sudden appearance, and also says he might come back some time since they had "wonderful services" and were very brave to face him even though they were scared stiff. He even told them to keep the change. Nice guy, eh.  
  
Dave watches in amazement as the four massive mobile suits shoot off into the sky.  
  
Some other worker: I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to see if they need help over at 7-Eleven.  
  
  
  
What did y'all think? Get the joke at the end? Oh, like 7-Eleven is safer! Yeah, right. Never would have thought in million years that it was Char all along, hmm? Maybe it was funny, maybe not. I think it's funny. I'm just getting started, so the stuff I write later will be really insane. Well, R & R and gimme what I wanna hear! 


End file.
